When I’m writing, I can spend the entire day trying to get those voices in my head to talk to me, tell me their stories. Whether or not it works, the moment I turn out my light and try to fall asleep, the characters inevitably come out to play.
I’m never sure whether to be delighted or annoyed. My ultimate reaction usually depends on how comfortable I am and how many sleeping cats are pinning me in place. Then there’s the spouse factor: after the final goodnights have been mumbled and we’ve lived in silence for several minutes, it’s just cruel to turn the light back on, no matter how great the dialogue in my head and how convinced I am that I will not remember it in the morning unless I record it right then and there. (Naturally, I still haven’t remembered to stock my flashlight in my nightstand, although I’ve learned never to be without a notebook and a pen. Which is why this whole thing was written in the dark. See?)
Of course, just because I succumb to pressure from my chatty characters or Dolores, my on-board narrator, it does not mean that the words were worth the shuffling and fumbling required to capture them on paper. Even if they are legible (at best, my handwriting is a poor imitation of cursive), when I’m in the zone of near-sleep my ability to judge writing quality is questionable.
Take, for example, the night when I absolutely, positively could not sleep no matter how I tossed and turned. If anything, my desperation only pushed that blissful unconsciousness further away. Finally, I settled into thinking about my book. You see, I had a character to name, and this seemed the perfect time to do so. In my sleep-deprived state, I decided that I wanted something unique, so I reached around for the most beautiful, unusual first name I could find. Once I settled on it, I was so happy that I knew I needed a last name to go with it. And so I thought and thought and finally came up with the perfect companion to that first name. It was so lovely, so wonderful, that I couldn’t wait to assign it to a character the next day. Since this was before I learned to keep a notebook handy, I committed it to memory, rolled over, and promptly fell asleep. When my alarm rang the next morning, I had the nagging thought that I was forgetting something. So I fished around in my memory for a while, and came up with it: the name. Only in daylight did I realize that I had, with no sense of irony whatsoever, named my character Dream McKnight. Sure, the name could work, but it would be the bane of the character’s existence, not something of which she could be proud.
With incidents like that, it’s no wonder I record my nighttime ramblings so reluctantly, even if I’m usually glad that I did so.
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Melissa Blue said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 10:56 am
Ah, the nightime epiphanies. They seem golden at 2 a.m., but around noon the next day, “I had to be sleep deprived.”
Sidenote: I do most of my writing at night. That should tell you how much I revise.
Melissa Blue said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 10:59 am
Curious question: What is with the green triangle guy? (I’m guessing an assigned picture to all my comments. Jeez, I need to get wordpress.)
Kyle said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 11:47 am
I think we’ve all done that. It’s the best when you’re in a weird place (hotel room, family member’s house, something like that) and you DON’T have a piece of paper around and you write on anything just so you won’t forget what you were thinking about…! For me, sometimes it’s best to let the information stew for a while, because my mind has a way of making it better that way. If I wrote down everything I thought of and kind of cemented those thoughts, it wouldn’t be very good! LOL…
Just saw your blogroll… I read PostSecret, too! In fact, I read that just before I read yours today!
leafless said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Buy a digital voice recorder. It’s the best investment you could make.
Caryn Caldwell said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Melissa, so true! But every once in a while a gem comes through and I’m glad I wrote it down. As for the avatars, WordPress lets me give random avatars to people who don’t have them already. Likes like you get Mr. Green Triangle Guy. Use him wisely.
Yes, Kyle, that’s happened to me, too! It’s also a problem when I don’t have a bookmark, since I’m constantly losing mine. I’ll stick about anything flat inside a book to hold my page. As for PostSecret, it’s one of the (many) reasons I love Sundays!
Leafless, I thought about that. Lots of other writers have said the same thing. I would still risk waking up my husband if I spoke into it, though. But I might get one for other times.
Steph said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 12:48 pm
See, my problem is that if I think of something good while I’m trying to fall asleep, I have to repeat it to myself at least a dozen times so that I can be *sure* that I’ll remember it the following morning.
Of course, the result is that I either wake myself up OR I get so excited about whatever I’ve just come up with that I simply have to get out of bed and type it up.
My solution is that I banish all thoughts of stories, characters, and settings until the early morning hours when I’m laying in bed and trying to think of a good excuse to stay there.
bookmom said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I actually thought Dream was a cute name! Not too sure about her last name though! *G* I like getting all these insights into how writers work. What about a booklight instead of a flashlight for your notepad?
Dru said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 4:40 pm
A booklight definitely would work.
Allison said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Argh, I hate it when inspiration hits me just as I’m about to drift off…and I’m too lazy to turn on the light and seek pen/paper. I come up with some kind of memory trick to ensure that it will be the first thought in my mind upon waking…but that almost always fails. Oh well, it probably wouldn’t have seemed so brilliant in the light of day.
Caryn Caldwell said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Steph, I have that exact same problem! And even when I do write it down, that’s usually not the end of it. As for banishing the ideas, I can’t. I think I’m worried that I’ll stop some breakthrough idea that would never come back again.
Thanks, Bookmom! And I agree — it’s not bad. But when paired with McKnight? Clearly I was sleep deprived! And I like your idea of a booklight. That might work.
Dru, I also have a headlamp. I’ll probably pick up a booklight when I’m somewhere with a good one, but I can use my headlamp in the meantime. It’s a little brighter, though, so a headlamp’s definitely preferable.
That’s probably true, Allison. I know my sense of good writing is totally out of whack when I’m tired.
LaDonna said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Too funny, and Dream is a cool name! I had a pen with a light on the end, and it gave such a soft glow hubby never moved. And yep, I lost it and now no matter what booklight I get, it looks like sunrise on my side of the bed. I do under the covers on my side now, and that works pretty much. Luckily, the whispers and great ideas have hit me during daylight lately.
patti said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 7:01 pm
i like the name. at girl’s graduation last week there, listed in the directory of college grads, was the name, summer loving.
can you imagine what she went thru? or maybe her cohorts were too young to remember grease….
kpinco said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I’ve been eying those new book lights at Barnes and Nobles. They’re so small now that I could see hooking one up to a blank notebook to let me scribble away. I also feel badly about waking up my husband.
Like you and Steph, the biggest problem for me is that I start thinking about something, which jumps my mind to another idea, and another… and then its nearly impossible to fall asleep. And then the next day, I’m sleep deprived.
Maybe we all need to work on some meditation techniques or something.
Ideas always come when its most inconvenient – trying to sleep, showering, driving, right before dinner as it begins to burn…
Pam said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 8:38 pm
The picture of your midnight scribbling is so priceless that I cannot say anymore for fear of tarnishing a perfect image. *kisses fingers in French fashion*
sandi said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Ohhh, Caryn, these middle of the night epiphanies are the only way my writing ever gets done! It is now 10:40 p.m., and suddenly my novel is just soooo calling to me, whereas all during the day it just hid. WHY? WHY? WHY can’t I be one of those early morning writers, the type of person who is all done with writing by noon because the ideas just came tumbling out during the perfect, wide-awake morning hours? Nope. I’ve learned to get up and go into the other room, turn the laptop on, and write when the inspiration hits. Often I see the sun come up….(yawn)
Caryn Caldwell said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 9:00 pm
That’s the thing, LaDonna — I actually kind of like the name Dream. But when paired with the last name? No way! I just thought it was funny that I didn’t even realize how much my desperation for sleep affected my character naming.
Ooh, Patti, what a mean, mean thing for parents to do! Even if they don’t remember Grease, I’m sure she was teased plenty. Here’s hoping she had a better nickname to use instead of her first name.
Kpinco, I have that problem, too. And when I’m not thinking of characters, I’m listing all the things I should have done that day or worrying about things.
Thanks, Pam! I’m certain you’re able to picture it because I have a hunch that you do the same thing from time to time, yes?
Sandi, I’m like you — I’d love to be a morning writer, but it rarely happens that way for me. All my best stuff happens in the afternoons or evenings. Sleep well — and soon!
Kelli Estes said,
Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I don’t know if you’re a member of RWA, but at the national conference last year I bought a pen that doubles as a flashlight. Perfect for those midnight notes! Unfortunately, I don’t know who makes it and I even tried to find one online to give as a gift, but no luck. If you go to San Francisco this year, look for it again at Moonlight Madness.
Like you, I have to have a pen and notepad by the bed and often jot down ideas. The problem I have is remembering to look at the notes again the next day when I’m working on that scene. I’ll come across them months later and either think it would have been brilliant, or WTF? LOL!
The Muse said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 5:55 am
I can relate. Sometimes I feel as if I’m the only one with that problem. I lay down with my husband and he’s fast asleep in a matter of minutes. Soon the chainsaw fires up and there I am. My mind races, I stare into the darkness, toss and turn, and pull myself out of bed. I get the opposite too, awakening from weird dreams and night terrors.
Kath Calarco said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 6:58 am
My two cents on Dream McKnight: I love it! Abstract first names are cool and memorable, and I’d most likely buy the book just because of the name. What better way to find out the character’s background? I mean, there has to be a really great story attached to the name.
I’m a sleeper. No great ideas come to mind as I doze off; most hit me first thing in the morning and I’ll rush to jot them down. I don’t carry a notebook with me, but when ideas come to mind I find myself rooting around for a scrap to scribble on.
Great blog, Caryn!
Caryn Caldwell said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 7:20 am
Kelli, I’m a member, and for the first time ever this year I’M GOING TO THE RWA CONFERENCE! (Sorry. Got a little excited there. Am calming…calming…Okay. Better.) And you have an excellent point — if I don’t find something that works in the meantime, there has to be something I can pick up there, esp. since this seems to be a common issue among writers. Thanks for the tip! Oh, and if I do the same thing — if I don’t transcribe my notes the next morning, they lose all meaning for me. Which can also be kind of amusing, if frustrating, too.
Muse, that’s exactly what happens! He falls asleep almost immediately and I’m left there, alone with my thoughts. And I have some pretty vivid dreams, too. Wonder if it’s a creativity thing?
Thanks, Kath! Until I wrote out that story yesterday I’d pretty much forgotten about that name, but I think now that it would be fun to use in a book because, as you said, it tells us a lot about the character — and her parents!
Robin said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 10:12 am
Usually when my head hits the pillow, I’m out in about thirty seconds flat. However, there are those rare occasions when I toss and turn and that’s when I totally think about my story and characters and convince myself I’ll remember my brilliant thoughts in the morning. Not! So like you, I scribble in the dark and then hope and pray I can read what I’ve written. For someone who has very neat writing (and is a very nice person, just sayin’) in daylight, my night time writing resembles a foreign language.
lainey said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 10:37 am
Hmm, had to comment just to find out what Avatar I got assigned. Hope it doesn’t have horns!
lainey said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 10:38 am
Am I a toaster?
And Dream McKnight sounds like a dessert you’d get at McDonalds…or maybe its just that its lunchtime and I’m hungry?
SparklieSunShine said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 11:25 am
Thanks for stopping by my site!
This happens to me with blogging. I can sit at the computer for hours waiting for something to come out, but when I am trying to sleep my brain jumps into action with all the fabulous things I could be writing about. I always mean to write them down, but usually I don’t and in the morning I can’t remember a darn thing.
Caryn Caldwell said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 11:36 am
Robin, I wish I were that way! Instead, I usually spend about 30-45 minutes every night just waiting to fall asleep. It’s a little tiresome — no pun intended. And, no matter your handwriting, I already suspected that you were a nice person.
LOL, Lainey! The avatars are assigned automatically by the program, not by me. As for the character, I have no idea, but a toaster seems as likely as anything. And you’re right — Dream McKnight totally sounds like something you’d get at McDonald’s. It would have whipped cream and/or ice cream in it, I think.
SparklieSunShine, this happens to me with blogging, too! Actually, that’s where the inspiration for this post came from, and why I wrote half of it in the dark, then finished it up and posted it the next morning.
Eileen said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 11:57 am
I love some of my middle of the night break throughs. I wake up and look at it thinking “Wa?”
Soleil Noir said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I have a love/hate realationships with “nighttime epiphanies”, as Melissa Blue dubbed them. Like you it depends on my mood and how far away I am from actual sleep. I think I’m more aggravated when I’m unable to sleep period so I figure I might as well use the time wisely. This leads to many amusing things when I read over what I’ve written the previous night. *grin*
Dream McKnight – yep, that just about says it all. It’d take a very intruiging character to pull that off.
Katie said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 3:34 pm
It never fails–I have a vivid dream and wake up thinking, “That would be a cool movie/book/whatever,” and the more strongly I feel that, the more ridiculous the whole thing sounds as I try to recall it for my husband.
“So then the guy who was driving turns into this monkey monster, but I know he’s really just angry because the zombies ate his family, and then I was on a roller coaster and I realized that I bought a new car but I couldn’t remember what color it was…” (At which point, my husband starts saying, “No! No! I don’t want to hear your dreams!”)
But it makes perfect sense when you’re dreaming it!
Heather from One Woman's World said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Well, girl, at least you didn’t name an actual human at night. Come to think of it, so often I wake up in the morning filled with relief that the plans I’ve concocted during the wee hours did not come to pass.
Caryn Caldwell said,
Monday, May 19, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Eileen, if it weren’t so frustrating, it would be amusing, wouldn’t it?
That’s the thing, Soleil. It usually takes me a while to fall asleep, so I start thinking about story lines, etc. in order to entertain myself. Pretty soon I have stuff to write down.
LOL, Katie! I do try not to describe my dreams to people (I have some pretty wacky ones) but sometimes it’s just impossible to resist. And many a book has been spawned by dreams, so they’re worth paying attention to.
True, Heather! But I have given my characters names of famous people, and done it while wide awake. Several times, in fact. I’ve started Googling all my major characters’ names, just in case.