Yesterday I managed once again to be on the receiving end of a wound of unknown origin. Random injuries are a daily thing for me. If I haven’t successfully hurt myself, broken something, or stained a piece of clothing, I haven’t gotten out of bed yet. I am currently in possession of the aforementioned cut (a scratch embedded in the fleshy part of my palm, rendering the comfort of Bandaids impractical), as well as at least four others. I won’t catalogue them for you (because who wants to read a list of cuts, bangs, bruises, and abrasions?), but in the interest of full disclosure I’ll admit that two shirts have also been harmed in the making of this weekend: one last night, splattered by spaghetti sauce (another good reason I don’t often cook) and the second this morning, dipped into my peanut butter toast breakfast.
I’ve resigned myself to this fate and I can’t say it even bothers me all that much, once the initial pain and throbbing reminders are doused by time, medicine, or — in the case of the stained clothing — laundry detergent. There are even a few advantages to a life of accident pronness. (Another thing I’m prone to doing: creating new words.) For one thing, there’s hope that my minor daily pains are a hedge against occasional catastrophic ones. This may be flawed logic — after all, one of my first actions upon this Earth was to undergo open-heart surgery — but I’m optimistic. Other advantages include the bonding that occurs when swapping tales of injuries past, and ever-increasing background knowledge for my writing. Flimsy, yes. But they’re all I’ve got, and since I’ve had this penchant for accidental pain for over thirty years, I’ve learned to appreciate the good points and try not to wonder about tomorrow.
Subscribe to RSS Feed
pjd said,
Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 8:48 pm
You’ve also got peanut butter toast. And that’s something.
Pomeroy! said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 12:03 am
I go with Cocoa Pebbles on mornings like that.
Caryn said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 6:02 am
PJD, True. There is that. I can add it to the list.
Pomeroy, alas, they do not give me the long-lasting energy I need, although they are more delicious than peanut butter toast, that is true.
Robin said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 7:15 am
I’m pretty good at accidents myself. Especially on days when we’re having company and I’m oh, in a hurry to get everything done. Mine have been a tad worse than minor, but certainly not catastrophic (nothing a trip to the ER couldn’t fix). I hope you heal quickly! BTW – I tagged you. I know how much you love that.
In light of your current predicament however, feel free to skip it if you want to, I don’t want to add to your pain.
Alyssa Goodnight said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 8:43 am
Open hear surgery! Yikes! As a baby?? Then these nicks and cuts are child’s play to you, right?
Pam said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 8:58 am
Please tell me you at least have fun with your injuries and make up great stories about them when people ask, i.e. “Oh, that? Just a little bar fight,” or “You weren’t watching Springer?” or “Let’s just say I know firsthand that COPS is filmed live.”
Dru said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 11:08 am
Just this morning I found a small cut on my finger and I have no idea how and where it happened. I was the one in my family that the doctors and local hospital knew because accidents and incidents always happened to me.
J.L. Krueger said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 11:59 am
I feel your pain…really I do.
I never get sick, but…I get “wounded” all the time. Wife is frequently asking, “who is bleeding all over such and such?” Oops…that’d be me.
A lifetime of riding horses, including foxhunting, has also contributed to assorted broken bones.
bookmom said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Glad to know there are others out there like this! I will note a new bruise on my leg about 2x a week and wonder where the heck it came from because I have no idea and can’t remember injuring myself! *G* Have you tried the liquid band-aid stuff? It works, it stings, but it works.
Caryn said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Robin, check your email! I had more to say, so I replied that way.
Alyssa, it does make it harder to complain about stubbing my toe when I have a big ol’ scar on my chest, but somehow I still manage.
Pam, I don’t, but now that you mention it, I have no idea why that hasn’t occurred to me because, well, I love to make up stories. And who wants to answer, “What happened to you?” the same way each time? Boring! Oh, and I’m tickled that you have your blog up. Yay!
Dru, I know what you mean! I seriously don’t know where half of my injuries came from. It’s like some freak sci-fi thing where someone in another dimension got injured and it showed up on my skin instead. (Clearly I’m not lacking in imagination, even if I am lacking in coordination!)
J.L., I love the “Who is bleeding” question. That’s hilarious! And, yes, it sounds like you are choosing some more dangerous activities. Of course, reading and opening letters are dangerous if you’re prone to paper cuts, so nothing is really safe.
Bookmom, I haven’t tried the liquid Band-aids, but I watched my husband apply some just a few days ago, and from the way he winced it didn’t look like anything I’d want to apply to a part of my body that was already in significant pain. But I may try it just once, just to see. Thanks for the recommendation!
riveroflifelisajoy said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I have weird issues of injuries too. I really scare myself sometimes. It usually happens during a time when I feel my most happiest! NOt fair!!! Enjoy the Peanut Butter Toast anyhow! Ever tried apple butter?
Ilan said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I had a biology teaching assistant long ago in my undergrad years who was missing part of a finger. He spent the entire semester making up stories as to how he lost it (each one grew more and more involved). In the end, he admitted it was an accident with some farm machinery (we think)…
Caryn said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 5:55 pm
ROLLJ, I can see that. Maybe when you’re happy, you’re not paying as much attention to the little details. Or maybe you are just more enthusiastic, which puts you in harm’s way.
Ilan, that’s hilarious! I love that idea. It would work best for my open-heart surgery scar because it’s visible in almost any shirt, and unlike my ubiquitous paper cuts it’s permanent.
mymarketingdesign said,
Monday, April 14, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Great post! I, too, have a knack for injuring myself, plus just really, really bad luck. Last week I went to the doctors for a different problem, got up from the table, got dizzy and fell and broke two toes. Then my transmission in my car died a few days later. I always have countless bruises, cuts and scrapes all over my body that I can’t remember getting. I’m beginning to wonder if I lead some crazy life at night, sleepwalking around town, hitting all the best parties.
I agree with your theory tho. I keep thinking that I’ll get all these injuries and illnesses out of the way now and I’ll be the healthiest old lady some day.
I feel your pain…
David Rice said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 2:00 am
In the game of one upmanship, you’ve won. The best trauma I can boast is a ruptured spleen, since removed, and a broken femur.
nrsl said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 3:03 am
The reason may know nothing about the flawed celestial logic..Take care lady..
Angela said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 7:22 am
Well, glad it doesn’t hurt!!
lainey said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 11:10 am
Unknown origin, you say. Hmm, I’d be questioning those kitties with the demonic eyes. It is a cat conspiracy to injure your hands so you play with them instead of the laptop.
Gas (the dh) is forever asking me “Where’d you get that bruise?” I usually have no idea. I did once give myself a black eye, though. Tried to wipe the sweat from my brow–while holding a ten lb dumbbell. Ah yeah, who’s the dumbbell?
Caryn said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 11:21 am
Oh, no, Mymarketing! I hope your toes heal quickly. At least you were in the right place for something like that to happen.
Alas, David, this is definitely not a game I want to win. Why can’t I, say, be really rich or gorgeous or talented instead of accident-prone? And those are definitely some pretty severe traumas you have there. It looks like all those potential paper cuts, stubbed toes, etc. were consolidated into bigger stuff.
Thanks, nrsl. You, too.
Angela, there is that! They usually do right at the beginning (though not always) but after a while I’m just left with a scar–or sometimes not even that.
LOL, Lainey! They have been the cause of more than one injury! Their claws are the worst, especially when they’re sitting or standing on me and then something startles them. But they are also in the habit of wrapping around my feet. And ouch on the dumbbell thing, though it sounds like you have a good sense of humor about it.
Conda V. Douglas said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 11:50 am
I think this is also a habit of creative types, Caryn. We get so caught up in our imagination, so focused on creating that bangs and bruises appear, magically!
Mary said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 4:04 pm
I went to school with a girl so accident prone (always with a limb in a sling or in plaster), I was convinced she would die before reaching 16. I really worried about her. Unnecessarily, it turns out. She grew up and became an accountant.
sandi said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Ha ha, I agree that those demonic-eyed kitties might know more than they’re telling. I’ve been known to injure myself WHILE SLEEPING. You know, stretch at the same time I’m turning over in bed and completely wrench my back. Tough to explain to others! Please take care…
Caryn said,
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Conda, an excellent point. I think you might be right there.
Wow, Mary! I’m glad to hear that she made it out of high school alive.
I hope that she’s become less accident-prone as she has grown older.
Sandi, I’ve done that, too! It’s usually my neck, though. And, yeah, I’ve had trouble explaining it. Isn’t sleep supposed to be relaxing and restorative, not dangerous? At least I haven’t fallen out of bed since I was a little kid.
virginia said,
Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 1:36 pm
i buy that logic. and if my hundred papercuts at work are any indication…i’m good for life!
Eileen said,
Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I managed to give myself a paper cut with a folder. It looks like I tried to take the top of my thumb off with a dull blade. It hurts too. sniff.
Pam said,
Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 8:21 am
Oh, Eileen–you have my total sympathies. Those are the worst! Poor baby. (I tend to get them under my thumbnail when I’m reaching for the folder. Ye-owch!)
spyscribbler said,
Friday, April 18, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Wow, yes, you’re like me! I have so many ruined clothes, I can’t tell you. At this point, I don’t mind if there’s “only one” stain that won’t come out. Hubby does. And white is my best color, unfortunately. If I eat, i will spill it on myself.
I burn almost everything I make unless DH is around to make sure I don’t. It’s just a fact of life, I guess. I don’t hear the timers.
Caryn said,
Friday, April 18, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Virginia, paper cuts are so painful! May they protect you from even worse.
Eileen, believe it or not, I’ve done that, too. It hurts like crazy. Poor dear. I hope you heal quickly.
Pam, haven’t gotten a folder cut right there, but I can imagine it would be very painful. Why, oh why weren’t humans issued tougher skin?
Spyscribbler, I’m really starting to think it goes hand-in-hand with creativity, as Conda mentioned. And I feel your pain with the white. I love to wear white, but I can never get away with it. When I find a good white shirt for a decent price, I’ve been known to stock up.
allan said,
Friday, April 18, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I thought ‘Pronness’ was already a word. : “to give one’s word”.-make a pronness, etc
I’ve broken many a pronness in my time…broken a lot of stuff, really… spilled even more. Wearing black helps with the coffee stains.
Caryn said,
Saturday, April 19, 2008 at 7:45 pm
LOL, Allan! Yeah. That must be it indeed. Guess I was just confused.
All Assembly Required « The Book Lady said,
Saturday, August 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm
[...] these instructions — even if the illustrators did cheat. I can even appreciate the fact that no one was injured during the cart-building [...]