I sense a bout of self-improvement coming on. All the signs are there: Yesterday I parked my car downtown and walked to my errands, despite the cold. The day before, I chose salad for lunch. And today I shopped for new and exciting toiletries (e.g. a scary, unknown brand of mascara). Yup. I’m about to embark on a self-improvement binge.
This sounds like a good thing but, like ice cream in my freezer, it never lasts. Soon the soup cans will appear on my dresser, standing in as free weights for a nightly twelve-minute toning routine. I’ll vow to straighten the living room and put away clean dishes every single night, and actually intend to keep the promise — will find it easy to keep, in fact. For a few weeks I may even get really crazy and do my laundry before the basket overflows, though that would be pushing it.
It will probably culminate, as it usually does, in my buying a do-it-yourself Clairol kit and dyeing my hair auburn. Thank God so far I’ve had the good sense to use a 28-day dye each time, though it still obliterates my hard-earned natural highlights.
The biggest sign of reckless self-improvement would be easy to miss. I nearly did. But here it is: Today I bought makeup. The last time I so thoroughly replenished my supply, every store was ad-splashing the 2003 Back-to-School specials, and Hubbs and I were getting ready to take the big marriage plunge.
I brought my goodies home and dumped the plastic pharmacy bag on the kitchen counter, along with groceries and the video I picked up on my way to the library. Even now the sack of unopened cosmetics sits, hunched, in the darkened kitchen, its menacing presence hidden but still on my mind as I wonder if these colors will finally work the magic I’ve been wishing for. Will they make it worth my while to wake up early? Or, like their predecessors, will they make about a 1% difference, not enough to compensate for shut-eye lost? I’m voting for the latter and hoping for the former.
To complement my new beauty routine, I’m even thinking about dieting. And I know it’ll work for me, because I plan to use the same trick every successful dieter uses: I have a scheduled start date. Everyone knows that setting the date is half the battle. Yesterday I planned to start today but, well, that didn’t work out. I had leftover chocolate pie in the fridge, and it’s never a good idea to start a diet with that sort of disadvantage. Plus, I hate to see good breakfast food go to waste. So today I did my duty and polished off the pie. Took one for the team, if you will. I’ll start my diet tomorrow for certain.
Or, on second thought, maybe the next day. Tomorrow’s not good for me.
No matter what, though, I plan to keep flossing and taking my vitamins. Nothing can stop me now. I’m on a self-improvement roll.
Subscribe to RSS Feed
Barrie Summy said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 10:47 am
Hilarious! Please keep us updated on your self-improvement regimen. And how long it lasts. (tee hee)
Caryn said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Thanks, Barrie! Actually, I should probably just do an update post at some point, seeing how I never told anyone about what happened (or didn’t) with the giant wolf spider on the loose in our living room, the chosen title for my WIP, and myriad other topics I brought up and just dropped. But what’s the fun in giving updates, when I can just whine about a whole, new, as-yet-unblogged-about topic?
David Rice said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Best of luck rolling!
Dru said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Good luck. The start date is the key. Of course my start dates kept getting pushed forward until my health crisis lent a hand. I’m doing okay with my eating healthy. But right before I started eating healthy, I did the same thing you did…ate all the good food because it just couldn’t be wasted.
ooh, is there an update to the spider wolf episode?
Brenda Grate said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Hilarious post and one that I’m sure every woman can relate to. Thanks for the laugh and good luck with your self-improvement.
Caryn said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Thanks, David!
Dru, I admire you for eating so well. As for updates to the spider, there are none. I never did find the dang thing. And believe me I think about it a *lot*, especially when I’m in the room where it disappeared. I wasn’t happy to see it, but I’d give a lot to see it right now, just so I know where it is and can take care of it.
Thanks, Brenda! We’ll see how long it lasts.
slouching mom said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 7:12 pm
If it works — when it works, I should say — will you pay home visits and help motivate the rest of us?
Good luck!
Patti said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I’m sorry, did you say chocolate pie in the fridge?
Just stopping by to say hi, thanks for leaving your mark on my blog. I, too, troll Joshilyn’s comments and follow the trail to new and interesting tidbits.
So good luck with all that “improvement” biz, you can leave your extra chocolate at my door!
emily said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 9:29 pm
pie for breakfast. that’s my kind of day!
Jordan said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Those self-improvement kicks can be dangerous, especially when it involves makeup.
What’s really dangerous is if you get into that mode and hit a Sephora store. :-O
Caryn said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Slouching Mom, thank you for your confidence in me. Actually, how about I write a nice self-help book based on my own successes? I’ll be sure to make it very motivational? Of course, I should probably actually read a few self-help books before trying to write one, but why be picky?
Not anymore, Patti! Yum! Thanks for reciprocating my visit, and for your comment.
Emily, there’s no doubt such a thing can start a day off just right, even if it does inspire a little guilt.
Oh, Jordan. I didn’t even think of Sephora. Now I’m in trouble. I haven’t actually visited their site yet, since I’m not a big makeup person, but I’ve heard it’s amazing, and now that I’m telling myself not to go, it’s extra tempting…Oh, crap. I just stopped by out of curiosity, and they’re having a sale. Well, free shipping on orders over $75. Free shipping gets me every time. It’s why I never shop Target online–the shipping’s outrageous.
c said,
Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm
i sometimes get the makeup bug. i really liked bold burgundy eye-shadow on others so i got some and felt ridiculous wearing it. i saw an ad with a woman of my coloring wearing turqoise eyeliner so i bought one. It looked great but i am lazy. And there’s the clean up. Again with the lazy.
In regard to household chores- oh i will get my clean on! Add new chores to my clean routine without a problem. But when it comes to dieting, meh. i like butter. i like sugar and chocolate is my lovah. i have, however, been striving to cook healthier. Everyday i tell myself i am going to walk the steep hill near our place, but stuff comes up- napping, yakking it up on the phone, web-surfing…
i encourage you in your endeavors, however long you chose to pursue them. It’s exciting sometimes to change things up a bit.
Zen Master said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 3:56 am
Good luck with your self-improvement!
)
Sally Lawton said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 6:25 am
Good Luck!
I’m about to start back at the gym tomorrow and I’m getting hair cut etc… this is the start of a whole new me too!
Caryn said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 8:54 am
c, I wear makeup so infrequently that I feel overdressed when I put on lipstick. Of course, I live in a pretty informal town, and the lipstick of choice is Carmex or Burt’s Bees lip balm. Whenever we visit my husband’s family in the Southeast I always start wearing more makeup, since I’m surrounded by it.
Thanks, Zen Master!
Ooh, how fun, Sally! Well, the hair cut, at least. The gym? That’s debatable.
Melissa Blue said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 9:46 am
The biggest sign of reckless self-improvement would be easy to miss.
Too funny the way you phrase it. And yeah, I can spot those a mile away. It must be something about this winter. I’ll cross my fingers for you that this time the “reckless self-improvement” sticks around for a while.
Absolute Vanilla (an said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 11:17 am
LOL – hope the self-improvement drive goes well – and yes, one should absolutely never even think of starting a diet when there is chocolate pie in the fridge!
JJ Loch said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Great post and soooo like me.
Hugs, Jj
Caryn said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Thanks, Melissa! You know, I hadn’t thought about it in conjunction with winter, but I can totally see that. The weather is so relentlessly yucky it’s like I’m trying to find something else to make me feel happy.
Thanks, Absolute Vanilla! I still have a little leftover Halloween candy, too. Wonder if I should get rid of that as well?
Glad I’m not the only one, JJ Loch! Thanks for stopping by.
Susan Hatler said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Oooh, new mascara? What brand? I bought some kind of MAC waterproof dealio a few months ago and it’s works ok. Not that I put on make-up too often. My computer screen doesn’t seem to care if I do or don’t. I’d put out the effort more often if it threw me a compliment here and there.
Moose said,
Sunday, February 3, 2008 at 8:21 pm
My self-improvement plan (with lists! and charts!) has been, like all its predecessors, about 10% successful. Sure, I’ve eaten Fritos, an extra-large candy bar, and about 9 million pretzels in the last 24 hours. But I’ve also eaten a salad! Sure, I haven’t even started today’s work project. But I’ve thought about it!
It’s all a matter of degrees. Good luck!
Erica Orloff said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 6:56 am
Good luck!
I am a makeup addict. Don’t know where it stems from. Maybe a latent desire to be a makeup artist. But I will try any product! And I am hooked on a few “must-haves.”
However . . . given my rambunctious todller and the other three . . . all the Bare Minerals in the world cannot eradicate the haven’t-slept look . . . dark circles are a mainstay now.
E
Kristen said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 9:29 am
LOL – I’m in the same boat. I keep planning to start eating better, but I currently have chocolate cake, cupcakes, toffee, and Girl Scout cookies in my house. I can’t let it go to waste!
Thanks for the visit and comment on my blog. I’ll be back to catch up more on yours – especially since I share your love for Scrabble! Although my husband won’t play with me. He’s too afraid. My family took Scrabble a bit too seriously when I was growing up.
Robin said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 10:51 am
I would think for myself having to put a wedding dress on in nearly 4+ months would encourage me to be healthier…nope.
heidikins said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 11:40 am
My February goal: floss. It’ll take up most of my will power, I hate flossing. ;o)
xox
Caryn said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Susan, I think it’s Cover Girl, or something like that. I so rarely buy makeup that I can’t even remember that much!
LOL, Moose! I’m exactly the same way!
Erica, I just never got into makeup–except when I was in middle school and early high school, when I thought it made me look grownup. Really it just made me look ridiculous, since I wore way too much of it, and not in the right colors.
Kristen, thanks for reciprocating the visit.
I love that your husband is terrified of playing Scrabble with you. My husband and I take the game pretty seriously, so no one else wants to play with either of us, either.
Robin, I think that right around my wedding I weighed more than I ever have in my entire life. It was probably the stress.
Heidikins, I HATE to floss, so I’m with you there!
Jemima said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 12:30 pm
My favorite trick is to sign up for a really expensive boot camp. If I’ve paid for it, I have to go. And unlike the gym, I can’t procrastinate, because they’re down there at the Marina WAITING for me. Someone barking sit-up instructions is remarkably inspirational.
But so is chocolate pie…
Kimberly said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 6:53 pm
oooooo flossing is half the battle (or so I hear)
Good luck!
bookbabie said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 7:10 pm
I hate flossing too, its gross, but then so is not flossing! I have a favorite make-up tip. I’ve been using Bare Escentuals mineral make-up lately and love it. It’s easy to dust on and the look is more natural (especially on my forty-something skin). Now if they only had cocoa flavored make-up we could look lovely AND get our chocolate fix during the beautification process:)
Larramie said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 7:56 pm
If you do something routinely for two or three weeks, Caryn, it becomes a habit…just like finishing off the chocolate pie.
no milk said,
Monday, February 4, 2008 at 9:16 pm
my new diet is hardboiled egg whites. it’s low in calories and high in protein. i eat like 4 eggs a day (no yolks). i am trying to snack healthy and gain protein so i can grow muscles which can burn calories more easily. diets suck.
i also floss like crazy now. sometimes i feel that if i didn’t floss there is something stuck in my teeth. which most times, there is! what’s weird is sometimes i have to go through flossing twice, just to make sure i didn’t miss anything the first time around…
Christina Phillips said,
Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 6:49 am
How funny! Over the weekend hubby and I decided we’d try and eat more healthily, in other words not stuff 20 different types of chocolate every night after dinner. So far it’s working and we’re eating lots of fruit but then again it’s only been a couple of days. Not sure I’ll last the week without getting some kind of chocky fix…
Caryn said,
Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 7:18 am
Jemima, that is an excellent point; we put more value both on what we have to pay for, and in how others see us, and the boot camp would satisfy both.
LOL, Kimberly! I only wish that were true!
So true, Bookbabie. And thanks for the makeup recommendation. I’ll have to take a look.
LOL, Larramie! Too bad it takes three weeks to make a habit, and just one minute to break it.
No Milk, that sounds like a great idea. I’ve heard egg whites have all sorts of nutrients.
Christina, good luck with that! I think it’s always easier to do this sort of thing in the summer, when there’s a lot of fresh fruit in season. Maybe we should just wait. You think?
77free said,
Friday, February 8, 2008 at 2:46 pm
hey Caryn,
start tomorrow!!! and then if you slip up just remember you can always start with the next meal. i’m running the marathon and trust me i splurge and fast and then splurge all over again but the key is learning to be balanced and still have the things you love in smaller portions. kudos to walking – its great exercise, me time and room to clear your head. i’m cheering you on from the sidelines.
Caryn said,
Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 11:45 am
Good point, 77free. In the long run I’m still better off starting earlier and slipping up a bit than splurging until I tell myself my diet starts. Plus, I start getting used to it.