Blogs Are Weird and Brownies Are Evil

Doesn’t get a lot more direct than that title, now, does it? So why are these things on my mind? Well, first of all, YA author Diana Peterfreund recently opined that blogs are not the ultimate marketing tool. Now, I’m going to have to agree with that. Everybody knows that skywriting has that slot, with blimps coming in a distant second. (Clearly I’m a big fan of flight.)

But when it comes to authors and blogs, I have to admit that I had not read a single book by most of the authors whose blogs I follow until after I began to read their online musings. I found most of them through comments or blogrolls on others’ sites, and followed them to their webly homes. (Yes, I’m perfectly aware that this makes me sound like a stalker, thank you very much.) I liked their writing, and I found that I rather liked them, too. Or what they let me know of them, at least. And who doesn’t want to read a book by someone who seems nice and turns out decent writing on a semi-regular basis? Of course, I had to find them first, which as Diana points out is often difficult for someone whose only publishing credit is a blog — or, I would add, for a published author whose books one has not yet read. Indeed, I usually find the more dedicated bloggers, either through their active participation in the blogsophere or through recommendations by other bloggers. Like much of the best marketing, it’s all about word of mouth. If bloggers are just sitting there waiting to be discovered but are not participating in the blogosphere, it’s probably not going to happen until or unless a bigger force — such as a recently released book — brings readers to them.

So, where am I going with this? Well, everybody knows I’m a fan of reading, which means that my default birthday/Christmas present is a gift card for a bookstore. And when it comes time to spend the loot, I often look to my RSS feeds first. I like to support my favorite bloggers, and I know I’ll get some good reads at the same time. Even as I type this, books by Jill Shalvis, Lani Diane Rich, Eileen Cook, and Samantha Graves (to name a few) are headed my way. These authors’ books are all new to me, even if their blogs are not. And I’m already saving up for another round (which will probably include some of Diana’s books).

To be fair, I also have a habit of looking up my favorite authors’ websites and indulging in their blogs as well, should they have them. In that case, the books led me to the blogs, and not the other way around. But blogging has helped me discover some amazing writers, ones whose books I probably wouldn’t have noticed on those crowded bookstore shelves had I not already known their names from blogging.

Am I alone here? If not, then stop by Diana’s blog, add her to your RSS reader (because you’ll probably want to), then buy her books to prove her wrong. Or hope that I sell the mess I’m currently working on, and then don’t buy the book because you get my blog for free. Your choice.

And because I am queen of my own blog (aren’t we all?), I will indulge my urge to continue pontificating by pointing out that brownies are evil, terrible things. Especially when warm and gooey and filled with chocolate chips. I went into this afternoon’s staff meeting with just one chin, and after an hour sitting within reach of a plate of the malicious goo, I walked away with four more chins. This is not a good look for me. Plus, my neck is getting tired from swinging that extra skin around. I’m just saying.

Your turn. Do you read your favorite bloggers’ books — assuming they have a book out? If so, which came first for you as a reader — the book or the blog? Or, alternatively, what is the most evil food you know? C’mon. Spill.

Confessions of a Reading Addict

It began innocently enough: a brand new copy of Goodnight Moon and a pair of parents patient enough to read it to me night after night after night. But Goodnight Moon was the gateway drug for many of my generation, and I soon turned to more hard-core reads, such as Pickle-Chiffon Pie and Little Rabbit’s Loose Tooth.

In elementary school, our librarian fed us a steady supply of Shel Silverstein and Beverly Cleary. Once a year R.I.F.* spread shiny new paperbacks on the school library tables and fed my addiction with one free book. Many a child joined the leagues of reading addicts after those visits. I was in love — obsessed, even. Libraries, bookstores, Scholastic fliers — I couldn’t get enough.

In middle school, melodrama ruled the day, usually with a good dose of paranormal phenomena thrown in. Christopher Pike and Lois Duncan kept me company every evening. My school work began to suffer. I neglected my friends, my family. I begged for one more chapter, one more paragraph whenever the outside world demanded my attention.

By high school I had turned to stealing books from my parents’ shelves. I smuggled battered Harlequins, travelogues, and classics to school, getting my fix between every class. Until I earned my drivers’ license. Then any book in the public library was fair game.

In college I majored in English, and learned to hide my addiction. I took to carrying classics and slim volumes of poetry to literature classes filled with snobby students who looked down on genre fiction and, like me, pretended they did not read themselves to sleep each night with a good novel.

I’ve gone through other phases: young adult lit in grad school, mysteries after that. I found others who share my addiction. I no longer feel shame when I crack open a paperback in public and smell the fresh paper, admire the shiny cover, delve into each seductive story, because I now know that I am not alone.

For most of us, an addiction to reading is not picky. Suspense, historicals, science fiction, classics, contemporary literature — we’ll read it all. In the end, even cereal boxes and shampoo bottles are appealing if there’s nothing else. Because after a lifetime of addiction, a junkie can always find the next fix.

*The R.I.F. program is now endangered. If you were influenced by them, too, please visit their site and see what you can do to help.

Five on Friday: Wherein I Commit Mass Linkage and Hope to Leave You Smiling

One of my addictions is a site called StumbleUpon. I could spend an hour or two surfing through the sites that they recommend for me based on my past likes and dislikes. One side effect, however, is that I’ve begun to accumulate a lot of favorite links. And since since good internet content — like most things — is best when shared, I’ve decided to institute an occasional feature I’m calling “Five on Friday”, which will contain links on a particular theme, and will happen anywhere from weekly to never again.

Yes, I know this mass linkage thing is not revolutionary. Lots of people practice it in their posts. Now it’s my turn, and I’m kicking it off with Links that Make Me Smile. I found most of them through StumbleUpon which, incidentally, does not count as the first of five links. That said, here you go: five links to sites that left me smiling, and a bonus: my first-ever embedded YouTube video. (I’m so proud, though what does it mean if I’m already breaking my own rules? Hmmm.)

Follow the directions at Automatic Flatterer, and give your confidence a boost. (Is it embarrassing to admit that this always makes me smile?)

You’ll probably want to watch this advertisement twice — once to puzzle through it and once to figure out how it was done. Trust me, I know it doesn’t seem amusing at first, but it’s worth it for the ending alone.

Every musical genre has its own set of rules. Visit this site to read the not-so-serious Rules of the Blues. (It makes me think of Adventures in Babysitting: “Nobody leave dis place without singin’ the blues”. Anyone else remember that movie?)

I’d like to link to at least one blog entry with every “Five on Friday”. It’s hard to narrow it down, but this post from Rude Cactus gave me a huge smile and begged me to share. This is the story of his newborn son’s birth just a week or two ago. I’ve read it several times, and it always makes me feel better about life — and less nervous about eventually having children of my own.

And, finally, the bonus video. Since it’s hard not to laugh when others are doing so — especially if they’re children — I present you with Baby Ethan:

So, there are a few of my recent favorites. What links make you smile?

Bescripted

I no longer trust beautiful handwriting simply because of its beauty. Like disciples of graphology, I once thought of it as one indication of a person’s personality, a beautiful soul spilling out in ink or graphite. But I’ve since met several cruel women with remarkable penmanship—graceful, flowing, elegant, and fancy — perfect for a 19th century manuscript, a wedding invitation, a special occasion font — and I know now that it is no indication whatsoever.

In a way I’m relieved to have my childish beliefs contradicted. Although I can rule out my former yardstick as a potential judge of character, it means I’m no longer out of the running as a good person. I only hope others realize it, because if monkeys were given pens and taught the alphabet, their results would probably resemble my sprawling, jumbled, inconsistent half-script. Last week, when my boss decoded a note I had left for another employee, she explained my messiness to her in a conspiratorial whisper: “She’s a writer”. I’d love to agree with her assessment, but I know it’s not the case. I’ve simply never been the kind to flounce, even in ink.

On occasion, I try to remake my handwriting, as if it will turn me into someone as elegant or as neat as the lines on the page, but if penmanship doesn’t reveal if a person is good or bad, it still must reveal some inherent details, because my writing style is as stubbornly connected to me as my freckles and weird little toes. Someday I may even find that obstinate constancy comforting.

Special Feature: The Annual Crocus Post

It’s time for the annual posting of the first flowers of the season. (Yes, this happens every year.) I discovered these crocuses in our backyard while on the phone with my mother on Friday evening. Naturally, I was so excited I lost the entire thread of our conversation in the midst of my shrieks. Now my mom informs me that my father has been referring to me as “Little Snot” in conversations with her, all because we have flowers and they do not. I will rise above such pettiness, however, and vow not let his bitterness and jealousy get the best of me. After all, when you have flowers like these in your backyard, how can you feel anything but magnanimous toward those poor souls who did not have the foresight to plant their bulbs near a south-facing wall?*

Crocuses 1

Crocuses 2

*Yes, I have deliberately chosen to ignore the fact that those who lived here before us actually planted this set of bulbs. The ones I planted are indeed still underground on two other sides of the house. It simply spreads the flower bounty over more time. Also, note the lovely crackly brown grass around the flowers. Nice contrast, don’t you think?

Building the Adequate Blog Post: A Step-by-Step Guide

I love blogging. I love playing with words, and reading comments, and especially connecting with other bloggers, both on their sites and on mine. Like most worthwhile pursuits, however, it isn’t always easy. You see, I’m a perfectionist, which means that almost every new entry goes through each of the steps outlined below (yes, including this one). Sometimes the slow learners even get to repeat a few. And since I’m the helpful sort, I’ll now share with you this handy-dandy guide to creating an adequate blog post, Book Lady style. (Yes, adequate. I said I was a perfectionist, not that I’m perfect. You want perfection? Find another blog.)

Okay, here goes…

  1. Write post. Revise obsessively. Publish.
  2. Ping search engines, Feedburner, Technorati, and RSS feed readers.
  3. Revise post again, wishing you’d caught now-obvious errors before letting God and everybody know you’d written something new.
  4. Agonize. Post isn’t good enough. Doesn’t fit theme/voice/sense of humor. Or it fits too well, making it redundant and therefore boring. Everyone will be disappointed and unsubscribe from your feed and remove you from their blogrolls.
  5. Avoid removing post from site through sheer will and other diversionary tactics.
  6. First comments trickle in. Read and respond.
  7. Bask in relief. The post isn’t perfect, but it’s up and it’s been read, so it’s too late to take it down now.
  8. Wait one day, again reading and responding to any comments.
  9. Begin to think about next post. Should put up something soon, but what? Not to worry. There’s some time.
  10. Still some time, but not as much.
  11. Cripes! It’s been two (or, okay, three…or maybe four…) days, and still nothing new. Ummm. What to write about? Spend whole day mining every experience, every thought, every conversation for a topic.
  12. Fail.
  13. Look through the land of half-finished blog entries, searching desperately for a phrase or idea that can be suddenly spun into the perfect post.
  14. Fail.
  15. Take a shower. Compose new entry entirely in head. Exultations abound — it’s the most brilliant post you’ve ever written. You’re a genius!
  16. Towel off, grab the handy notebook you stashed in the bathroom for occasions such as this, and realize you’ve already forgotten entire post.
  17. Dress and shuffle to computer. Browse your archives, wondering if anyone would really notice if you reposted an ancient entry, but with a different title.
  18. Inspiration strikes! Or you strike it, preferably with something blunt and heavy.
  19. Write post. Revise obsessively. Publish.
  20. Repeat steps 2-20.

Yeah, I know it’s just a blog, but did I mention I’m a perfectionist? Anyway, I want only the best for my readers. All, like, three of you…

So, how’s blogging go for you? Easy? Difficult? Agonizing?

Update: I posted this exactly six minutes ago and am already on step four. I work fast! Let’s see if the post is still here in the morning…

Help Me, Hollywood! (Or, Six Things I’ve Learned from Movies)

Although I love to read, I also devour movies at an excessive rate. Being surrounded by stories helps me relax, and it reminds me why I love to tell stories of my own. However, these aren’t the only advantages. Movies, for one, have taught me some invaluable — and, in some cases, life-saving — lessons, all of which are sure to come in handy in my daily life, if not in my writing. Because I am helpful and wish only the best for my readers, let me now share with you what I have learned.

1) As long as you’re shooting back, enemy fire will never hit you. Unless you’re a minion on the side of evil, in which case you haven’t a prayer, no matter how many shots you squeeze off in a row. Bonus Tip: Never be an evil minion.

2) Everybody needs a henchman. Unless you’re the good guy, in which case you have a best friend/sidekick who is less attractive and has a worship complex when it comes to you. Bonus Tip: If you have a choice, opt for a henchman. They’re better at following directions.

3) Whenever you need to steal a car, there’s always one available curbside, usually with keys in it and the doors unlocked but the engine off. To make things handy, the keys are always visible, even when viewed from the driver’s side window, and the car is never flashy. Bonus Tip: Sometimes there’s a baby in the backseat, so examine the interior first. If you’re escaping from the forces of darkness — or from somebody’s henchman — you have enough to worry about without adding a baby to the mix.

4) If you are ever being chased on foot and there’s no time to snatch a nearby car, detour through a restaurant kitchen. This not only causes confusion, but will also result in a burly cook or a multi-tiered cart blocking the villain who is after you. This is most effective if a large party is currently in session, but normal working hours will do. You won’t be stopped, even if you do overturn a few trays of canapés, and no one will look at you with anything stronger than minor irritation, so this is clearly acceptable behavior. Bonus Tip: If the situation is reversed and you are the one chasing, just give up when they enter the kitchen, because you will be stopped. Go out the front and around to the alley; that’s where the back door always leads.

5) If you should ever need them, you will have no trouble securing detailed plans of bank/museum/casino/mansion interiors, alarms and all, without raising suspicion. Everybody has a trustworthy friend or uncle or friend of an uncle who can procure the needed information — for a price. Bonus Tip: This friend/uncle/uncle’s friend is usually in the Mafia, so consider if these maps are worth your inevitable involvement in organized crime.

6) And, finally, if you realize too late that you love someone, look for them at the airport. Although they’ll return in a few days, your heartfelt “I-was-wrong, I’m-sorry, I-love-you” speech must not wait another moment. Nervous fliers needn’t worry; actual air travel is not necessary for this plan to be effective, although you may need to board the plane. Most airline attendants will let you on because they can differentiate between a true threat and harmless, goofy love. Bonus Tip: In the event that the attendant doesn’t let you on the plane, simply walk away, dejected. This is the cue for the object of your affection to emerge from the gate, loaded with baggage and wearing a rueful smile because, after all, how could they board a plane when they realized they loved you?

You Want to Know What?

Writing brings many surprises, from characters who begin to speak for themselves, to the time it can take to construct a scene, to plot twists I hadn’t envisioned but now can’t imagine the book without. But one surprise that just keeps on giving is how many things I need to know that are not in that handy well of background knowledge. As a rule, I try to avoid writing anything that requires much research. It’s not just the information-gathering that puts me off; it’s the idea that despite all the care I take to ensure that my information is accurate, I could still introduce some huge flaw and be forever discredited.

Such avoidance can only last so long, however. Shortly after I’d finished assigning most of my past careers to various characters and setting stories in most of the regions in which I’ve lived, I began to write, of all things, a book that’s loosely based in history. (Key word: Loosely. I still need that wiggle room.) Researching a shiny new career is one thing; building a whole Medievalish world is quite another.

For my various professions I’ve had to take several classes in research techniques, and although I’m not a master when it comes to digging up information, I know my way around Google, several online databases, libraries (Dewey decimal system and all), and your basic reference materials. Which is a good thing, since I recently found myself browsing a website on Medieval weaponry. This was quickly followed by searches for ways to communicate with horses, injuries to the frontal lobe of the brain, the layout of a typical castle, and bread recipes. And the research continues, all so that I can add about four words per subject to lend credibility to the book.

And amidst all this information gathering, the most important thing I’ve learned is this: research is not as scary or as boring as I’d thought. Sure, it’s daunting, and not as fun as writing, and when I’m in the middle of a scene and suddenly find myself desperate for a few obscure details about fabrics in the 1400s, it’s definitely a distraction. But it’s doable, and it can lead to some pretty amusing searches.

Which leads me to wonder…What are some of the weird things you’ve found yourself researching, either for your writing or otherwise? Ever read a book where the research was just plain wrong? (No author bashing, please! Everybody makes mistakes.)

Eileen Cook Discusses Unpredictable

Unpredictable by Eileen CookDebut author and hilarious blogger Eileen Cook is visiting The Book Lady this morning to discuss her new book, Unpredictable, which went on sale TODAY and has already earned many tons of glowing reviews. Please join me in welcoming her, and don’t forget to check out her ultra fabulous book!

Thanks for dropping in, Eileen. I know this is a pretty big day for you, but could you please tell us a little about Unpredictable while you’re here? What’s it about?
I’d be happy to. Unpredictable is the story of Sophie, who is the kind of woman who doesn’t give up easily. When her boyfriend leaves her, she’s determined to get him back. She pretends to be a psychic in order to give his new girlfriend a reading that will break them up. When parts of her reading come true, she finds herself a media darling and psychic star. The only thing she can’t predict is what she should do next.

The first chapter of the novel is available on my website, www.eileencook.com, if you are the type of person to like a sneak peek.

That sounds like a great premise. What was your inspiration for the book?
My husband belongs to a group called CSI (Committee for Skeptical Inquiry). It’s a group of skeptics who use science to investigate everything from alien abductions to the Loch Ness monster. I went with him to a conference that showed how easy it was to fake psychic skills and how often the person getting the reading has a different recall of what was actually said. At first I thought about how I could turn this to my advantage. I could start a new career as a psychic to the stars and leverage myself into A-list parties. But I had one question: Why? I knew how someone could fake psychic abilities, but I still wanted to know why they would fake it. Playing with that question was the beginning of the story that became Unpredictable.

In my day job I work as a counselor for people who have had catastrophic injuries or illness. This could account in part for why I write humor. During my graduate training we learned about how reality is often hard to define; two people can see the same event and interpret it very differently. Since that time I’ve always been interested in how people see the world and the decisions they make based on that world view. This theme tends to show up in all of my fiction.

What else would you like your readers to take away from reading Unpredictable?
My biggest hope is that people love it so much that they feel compelled to buy it by the case lot to give to all their friends and family. Assuming that this might be a bit much, what I would hope for is that people would laugh out loud and feel it was good entertainment for their money.

Unpredictable has already received many glowing reviews. Are you nervous about what reviewers have to say or do you, like some authors, plan to ignore them?
I know that it is impossible that all reviews will be positive, since you can’t please everyone. This doesn’t mean I can’t hope! I was very glad that my first review (from Romantic Times) was positive; it was a nice way to start the process.

The subject of titles recently came up on The Book Lady. Unpredictable was originally entitled In the Stars. What happened?
The book sold to Berkley, and we were moving forward towards publication last February. Based on foreign rights sales and the movie option, Berkley decided to re-do the cover. The original cover was fine, but I feel the new cover “fits” the book better. As a new writer I had very little say in the cover process, but I did forward links to the covers I really liked. Once we had the new cover it was decided that the title didn’t work any longer and the new title was created. I would be lying if I said I understood the way publishing works; right now I am along for the ride.

The new cover is gorgeous, so it seems you really lucked out. Speaking of the publishing biz, what was your road to success?
While writing Unpredictable I picked up a copy of Writer’s Digest that had an interview with agent Rachel Vater. I don’t recall what she said, but I remember thinking, “She’s perfect for me!” I stuck the article on my bulletin board (complete with her picture) and whenever I found myself blocked I would remind myself that this fabulous agent was waiting for my masterpiece, even though we had never communicated. Inside my head we were already a mean, lean writing team. Rachel discovered me in her slush pile and after she had a chance to read the full manuscript she offered representation. A few months later she was calling with the BIG NEWS that Berkley had made an offer. Much champagne was consumed.

Aside from writing amazing books and finding the perfect agent, what else would you recommend for those who have yet to become published?
Read, read, and read some more. Also, remember that this is supposed to be fun. If you find writing makes you miserable, consider taking up knitting instead. But if you can find the joy in it, there is nothing better.

It sounds like you’re enjoying your new career. What is your favorite part of being an author? Least favorite?
I love the process of writing, of being caught up in a world of my own making. My least favorite would be the days when the writing doesn’t seem to want to come. As for the publishing side, I am still so thrilled to have to this chance at all that I am finding it hard to think of what I don’t like. I’m sure in a few more years I will be more crusty and cynical.

Now that you’re off to such a wonderful start, what’s next?
I’m currently working on a young adult novel with the working title of WWAD — What Would Alice Do? It’s a spin on the play The Crucible, which dealt with the Salem witch trials. I’ve set it in a modern day Christian high school. I’m having tons of fun with it — at least when the revisions aren’t kicking my fanny. It is part of a two-book deal with Simon Pulse/Simon Schuster.

Good luck with it, Eileen, and with Unpredictable as well! Thanks for stopping by today.
Thank you very much, and thanks for having me. I had a great time!

Can’t Stop Me Now

I sense a bout of self-improvement coming on. All the signs are there: Yesterday I parked my car downtown and walked to my errands, despite the cold. The day before, I chose salad for lunch. And today I shopped for new and exciting toiletries (e.g. a scary, unknown brand of mascara). Yup. I’m about to embark on a self-improvement binge.

This sounds like a good thing but, like ice cream in my freezer, it never lasts. Soon the soup cans will appear on my dresser, standing in as free weights for a nightly twelve-minute toning routine. I’ll vow to straighten the living room and put away clean dishes every single night, and actually intend to keep the promise — will find it easy to keep, in fact. For a few weeks I may even get really crazy and do my laundry before the basket overflows, though that would be pushing it.

It will probably culminate, as it usually does, in my buying a do-it-yourself Clairol kit and dyeing my hair auburn. Thank God so far I’ve had the good sense to use a 28-day dye each time, though it still obliterates my hard-earned natural highlights.

The biggest sign of reckless self-improvement would be easy to miss. I nearly did. But here it is: Today I bought makeup. The last time I so thoroughly replenished my supply, every store was ad-splashing the 2003 Back-to-School specials, and Hubbs and I were getting ready to take the big marriage plunge.

I brought my goodies home and dumped the plastic pharmacy bag on the kitchen counter, along with groceries and the video I picked up on my way to the library. Even now the sack of unopened cosmetics sits, hunched, in the darkened kitchen, its menacing presence hidden but still on my mind as I wonder if these colors will finally work the magic I’ve been wishing for. Will they make it worth my while to wake up early? Or, like their predecessors, will they make about a 1% difference, not enough to compensate for shut-eye lost? I’m voting for the latter and hoping for the former.

To complement my new beauty routine, I’m even thinking about dieting. And I know it’ll work for me, because I plan to use the same trick every successful dieter uses: I have a scheduled start date. Everyone knows that setting the date is half the battle. Yesterday I planned to start today but, well, that didn’t work out. I had leftover chocolate pie in the fridge, and it’s never a good idea to start a diet with that sort of disadvantage. Plus, I hate to see good breakfast food go to waste. So today I did my duty and polished off the pie. Took one for the team, if you will. I’ll start my diet tomorrow for certain.

Or, on second thought, maybe the next day. Tomorrow’s not good for me.

No matter what, though, I plan to keep flossing and taking my vitamins. Nothing can stop me now. I’m on a self-improvement roll.

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